you'd prob fit in here if...

You would fit in here in the Philippines if....

-you like food that is fried, really salty, covered in sugar... or some combination of all three.

-you drive with one hand on the steering wheel and the other resting ready at the horn.

-you feel comfortable assisting with the delivery of a baby white squatting on the end of the bed barefoot.

-you believe that recovery after labor consists solely of drinking Milo (basically chocolate milk with caffeine made from a powder mixture... it is usually used as a coffee substitute).

-you know how to make a latex glove double as a hair tie.

-you expect when you order popcorn at the movies to be asked "cheese or barbecue?" at which point you choose cheese, even though that means they cover your popcorn in a toxic-looking orange powder, it tastes good :)

-you comment on how cool the weather is when the temperature drops to the low 90's (keep in mind that still feels like 100+ with the humidity).

-you are willing to run across 6 lane roads on a daily basis without crosswalks/signals (and you know to use the center divide as a rest stop before proceeding to cross the other side of the street - this is a critical step in successfully crossing the street here).

-you will answer "I don't know" when you're 8 months pregnant and someone asks you where you're going to deliver your baby.

-you get used to seeing old, grey-haired men holding hands with Philippino girls who usually look younger than 20... and you are pretty good at resisting the urge to tell them what creeps they are.

-you use oil when cooking every meal and frequently save the used oil for the next meal (recycle, reduce, reuse?)

-you don't know what toothpaste is but, no matter the brand, you will identify the paste used for brushing teeth as colgate.

-you know that "ladies choice" is the flavored mayonnaise put on burgers from jollibee (the equivalent and competitor to mcdonalds here), and you are also aware that ladies choice comes in several flavors including the local favorite, sardine.

-you believe that a clothes washer/dryer is not an effective means of cleaning clothes and thus you insist upon hand washing (have you ever hand washed your clothes? outcome = not-so-clean clothes... I don't know what I'm missing here).

-you do not refrigerate eggs or milk, and buy raw meat and fish off the street (where its been sitting in the heat all day!!), without a second thought...

-your favorite flavor is "purple", which is not grape, but in fact ube (sweet potato flavor that they always dye a vibrant color of purple)... not gonna lie, it's delish!

-you understand that a horn honk can mean: "move!", "stay there!", "I'm available to take passengers!", "I already have passengers!", "sorry!", "look out!", "thanks!" and "fuck you!"... there's also a random horn honk reserved for times when there is nothing in particular that should elicit honking of the horn, but the driver feels like honking anyway... i call this the "yeah!" honk, and it comes in various inflections of the voice.

-you can decipher the above honks and know the appropriate response to each.

-you are ok with the idea of cock fights, dog fights and horse fights (yes, horse fights), and chances are some portion of your income comes from these terrible events.

-you can turn pretty much anything into a place to hang laundry for drying.

-you believe there are 6 meals in a day: breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, dinner, midnight snack!! these 6 are not up for dispute.

-you know that when it says "appealing personality" in the description of requirements for a job ad, what they mean is good looking.

-you are not bothered by the fact that people get fired because they're ugly or not tall.

-you think wedding rings are unnecessary and don't wear one... particularly if you're a guy (this sometimes results in awkward situations, such as when a man brings his "wife" to our clinic to deliver her baby, then a few months later brings his "wife" to the clinic to delivery her baby except that it's a different wife... not that a wedding ring could clear up the situation, but it might help prevent it? or not).

-you eat plain rice with every meal and never complain that it gets old.

-you don't believe in wearing sunglasses even though you live at the equator where the sun's intensity is enough to fry many a retina.

-you prefer pads to tampons (sorry guys... this might be an over share), and in fact, you have most likely never used a tampon.

-you walk in a painfully slow, indirect path whenever going from point A to B... the word "hurry" does not exist in the language here.

-you know that the best part of lechon (the huge pig they roast on a stick here) is the crispy skin. sick!

-you wear shirts that say things like "different island, same shit", especially when you're pregnant.

-you are tolerant of doing everything with a fan blowing in your face. this poses the greatest challenge when: reading/writing (the pages are always blowing away), watching tv (it is is hard to hear), and making pancakes (you must time the pour of the pancake powder mix between oscillations of the fan to prevent it from blowing all over the kitchen... does it sound like I'm speaking from experience? I am.)


ok, that's all for now... I'll think of more to add later. I just decided I'd start up a list so everyone back home can begin figuring out how well they'd fit in here :) you know... in case my blogs are making you want to move to the philippines.