the end of the blog :(

Alright friends and family... I have officially finished my blog. This is the last entry - at least I'm pretty sure of that :) Who knew I would be able to write so much and keep it that updated while traveling around the Philippines and Thailand?! My mom is grateful I was able to keep her so informed, that's for sure. I hope there are others out there who appreciated the blog... Ideally you can learn something from the experience I have shared with you. There is so much need in these developing countries, particularly the Philippines, and everyone really can make a difference. We need to appreciat that, as a good friend put it, "more people need to realize that poverty and hunger and disease do affect so many and we have a responsibility as human brothers and sisters to do something about it". Ask me if you want ideas, I have lots of little things we could do to help out the clinic and proximal areas.

I think it is also important to appreciate the little luxuries in life: flushing toilet paper, clean drinking water, nutritious food, safety, a good education, a promising future, et cetera et cetera (not necessarily in that order :)... I could go on all day. There are so many little things I took advantage of before that feel like such luxuries now, and I know that my appreciation will fade over time but I plan to savor it and draw it out for as long as possible while I can. We are so fortunate and life will be even sweeter if you take the time to remind yourself of that. It is the little things in life, and a positive attitude, that will make all the difference.

The other day I was talking to stranger and asked him a little about himself. He got talking and before I knew it I had been told a brief, and quite interesting, life history, which ended with him staring me straight in the eye and with a subtle nodding of his head he said "I have a great life", as if he had just realized it in telling me about himself. I took a moment to appreciate his realization, to soak it in that I had found someone who was savoring his good fortune rather than taking it for granted. I was relieved, and I was grateful that he knew how lucky he was. We were both silent for a moment, then a tilted my head and said with a smile "me too." I have a great life too. Shaking my head in disbelief, I agreed with this stranger that I was utterly and undeservingly blessed. How did I get so lucky as to draw the right card? To end up living where I do, being raised as I was, not a legitimate complaint in the world. I start medical school in August, I got in! How can I be that lucky? My parents, my friends, my community, my education, I have everything to be thankful for... and how often in my life do I take it for granted? Less now, that's for sure. When you experience poverty, prostitution, sexism, corruption, and all the things that come along with that, it changes you - I am changed.

Here's why the change is good: you are patient ("like a Filipina", I say now), you try to remember to laugh more (in the Philippines they were always laughing), you don't get annoyed as easily (putting up with roosters crowing all day will do wonders for you ability to ignore just about any nuisance), you are kinder, more generous, helpful, friendly, genuinely sweet... or at least you have seen all of these traits epitomized by the people of the Philippines, even in the midst of the poverty and adversity of their lives, and you want to strive to be as upbeat and good. That is invaluable, priceless, that is good change. Not everyone has that wake up call... and not at such a young age - just another reason I am so lucky. Embrace life for what it is, appreciate what you have, find joy where you can. If the Filipinos can do it we certainly can.

Here's why the change is hard (not bad, just difficult to deal with): because today I was on a bike ride with my dad and sister and we rode through a nice, I mean REALLY nice, neighborhood. The houses were big enough to be apartment complexes, with enough rooms that I'm sure there are several in each house that aren't entered even once a month. It was disgusting... the big houses set me off - It felt like something between a panic attack and a total breakdown. I was riding, glancing left and right as I came upon each new mansion, larger than the last. i didnt know what to do, they were sooo excessive it made me sick, it made me physically hurt, and on top of that, angry, angry at how selfish people can be. It was the first strong reaction I've had since coming home and it was awful. I always said in the Philippines that I didn't experience culture shock so much as I experienced cultural enlightenment. Now that I'm home, and I realized this during my week in San Francisco too, I am experience true and full-blown culture SHOCK. Other than being disgusted by how much people have here and how little they give back, here is another part of culture shock - you feel really helpless. you see all the wealth and you've just personally experienced, lived, all the need, and the disconnect is frustrating like you cannot believe. why cant it balance out more?! one less room on that house, one room they don't even need or use, and the money they would save and could donate to a child in the Philippines would change that child's life forever. And that is all it takes to save a country. Save the children - the children are the future. Feed, educate, empower the women and children and it can make all the difference.

I think there needs to be a mandatory study abroad in a developing country that all people must do. People need to experience the poverty first-hand, they need to make connections with the people there, and they need to see that it is real, not just some discovery channel special or ambiguous commercial about 25 cents a day feeding a child. People should feel guilty buying mansions, they should realize they don't need that fifth Lexus, BMW, whatever... Instead of buying $300 jeans maybe they should buy $100 jeans, still excessive, and send the extra money to feed a kid or buy prenatal vitamins for a pregnant woman. It doesn't take a lot to make a BIG difference in a country like the Philippines. It is important to remember that. It is also important to realize that there is only so much you can do to make a difference, and the rest is pretty much futile: complaining, guilt tripping people, etc. So I'm trying to find the balance. Trying to remember to be grateful, appreciative, generous, happy, and so on, while keeping the people of the Philippines in the back of my mind and in my heart so that one day, hopefully not too far down the road, I'll be able to make a difference for them - they deserve it.

I'd like to thank everyone who took the time to read this blog! It was pretty fun writing it, although I was terrible about proof reading so it will be interesting when I read back over everything one day and realize what I made my readers put up with :) love you all, remember to have patience, give thanks for your blessings, and keep laughing like a Filipino always!!